Imagine you're in a therapy session and suddenly, tears well up. Is that okay? To answer this question, we'll take a small journey back in time, and we'll also discuss how psychologists comfort their clients.

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Tears in Psychological Counseling - Is that okay?

Yes, tears in counseling are absolutely allowed. Tears are a natural and important part of therapy. They are an expression of our emotions and can build a bridge of trust between therapist and client.

In ancient times, people believed that tears were a form of purification, both spiritual and physical. Plato spoke of a “verbal catharsis” for emotional suffering, and Aristotle saw tragedy as a way to release suffering.

In the 19th century, the concept of catharsis was revisited in psychology. It was no longer just about the discharge of emotions, but also about the re-experiencing of traumatic experiences. This was referred to as “abreaction”. Source

While there are many discussions about the significance of these factors, it is clear that emotional discharge – crying – is an important component of many therapeutic approaches.

Tears play a significant role in therapy. They are not only an expression of our emotions but can also build a bridge of trust between therapist and client. 

When a therapist responds to a client's tears with empathy and understanding, it can give the client a profound sense of safety. It shows that the therapist takes the client's emotions seriously and is ready to accompany them on their journey toward emotional healing.

Furthermore, tears can open up the space for the analysis of deeply suppressed emotions. In my work as an online psychologist, I have often experienced clients being confronted with childhood memories they wish to process. These memories and emotions, buried deep within them, can surface through tears. 

In such moments, tears can be truly powerful. They help in releasing and processing these deeply seated emotions. In these moments, tears can be a powerful tool to release and process these deeply rooted emotions.

They allow us to show our vulnerability and confront our deepest feelings. And in the safe environment of a therapy session, they can be an important step on the path to healing.

How does a psychologist react when I cry? 

Well, that depends on the psychologist's approach. Each has their own individual approach. Many psychologists and therapists show empathy and allow the client to express their emotions. Others try to shift the focus to positive aspects, although this isn't always appropriate.

At this point, I'd like to share an example from my own practice. There was a situation once where a client I was counseling cried so much that she couldn't speak. In a calm voice, I asked her: 

“If your tears could speak right now, what would they say?” 

What emerged was an unspoken hatred towards her parents, which had been suppressed for years. Now that these emotions had come into consciousness, she could begin to find a way to deal with them.

Worth Reading: The First Therapy Session: What Will the Psychologist Ask Me?

Ultimately, tears are an important part of the therapeutic process. They can be a powerful tool for releasing and processing deep emotions. 

However, it's also important to know that tears don't always have to flow for progress to be made.

How Do Psychologists Comfort Clients?

Psychologists have many ways to calm and comfort their clients. Imagine a psychologist speaking with a deep, calm voice. This gentle manner of speaking can help a client feel calm and comforted.

Or a therapist might lean forward while speaking with the client. Their body language shows that they are truly listening and care about the client's feelings.

They might also use specific phrases to acknowledge, rather than ignore, the client's emotions. For example, they might say: “I sense that you…” or “What hidden longing lies behind your tears?” Or they might simply say: “You are welcome to be here.”

This kind of open communication can help clients feel safe and understood. They can recognize that it's okay to show their true feelings and that they are exactly where they need to be in therapy.

But what if you're not currently in a therapy session and still want to find out how much your struggles are affecting you? My website can help with that. There you'll find psychological self-tests that can help you learn more about your own feelings and emotions.

Why not give them a try!

If you'd like to talk to someone about it – you know I always welcome connections.

Warmly,

Patric Pförtner

Updated on: 11. Juli 2025

Magazine Psychological counseling

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