Absolutely, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder can definitely be dangerous. The following example illustrates just how perilous a relationship with a narcissist can be.

Perhaps you've already asked yourself these questions: Are individuals with narcissistic personality disorder dangerous? How dangerous can a narcissist be? Is a narcissist violent? When does a narcissist become dangerous?

I've already answered the question "Are individuals with narcissistic personality disorder dangerous?" on Quora in an abridged form.

The Dangerous Game with a Narcissist

I'd like to share an example of a partnership with a narcissist from a client named Sarah, whose story I encountered as an Online Psychologist in my practice.

Therefore, I'm speaking from my own experience here. This means that your situation might be different. However, perhaps you'll recognize some tendencies.

Of course, the names have been changed, but the events are real and occurred in a similar way.

First, I'd like to answer the following question:

How dangerous can a narcissist be?

A narcissist can be extremely dangerous, as they are often manipulative, controlling, and vindictive. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder tend to exhibit a high degree of impulsive behavior and may also be prone to violence. Their lack of empathy and their need for power can lead to destructive actions that seriously jeopardize the well-being of others.

The Perfect Illusion

Sarah had been with Mark, a successful businessman, for five years.

When they first met, their relationship seemed like something out of a fairytale.

Mark was charming, educated, and never missed an opportunity to spoil Sarah.

He surprised her with romantic gestures and made sure she felt like a queen.

Weekends were pure luxury.

Mark organized luxurious weekend getaways, where they traveled from A to B in his private helicopter.

They enjoyed exclusive dinners at the city's finest restaurants, where Mark insisted that Sarah didn't have to worry about a thing.

He gave her expensive gifts and showed her a world full of glamour and wealth.

In these moments, Sarah felt like the happiest woman in the world.

She could hardly believe her luck, being by the side of such a successful and caring man.

However, over time, things began to change

The Dark Side of the Narcissist

Over the years, Mark increasingly showed signs of a narcissistic personality disorder.

1. Constant Criticism: Mark began to constantly criticize Sarah, from her appearance to her decisions. He never missed an opportunity to belittle her and undermine her self-confidence.
2. Manipulation through Flattery: At the beginning of their relationship, Mark showered Sarah with compliments and flattery. However, over time, it became clear that these flatteries were more a means to manipulate and control her. He used her needs for recognition and affection against her.
3. Isolation from Friends and Family: Mark began to isolate Sarah from her friends and family. He claimed that their relationship was more important and that her loved ones would only prevent her from finding happiness. As a result, Sarah was increasingly cut off from important support systems.
4. Excessive Jealousy: Mark exhibited excessive jealousy, even during harmless interactions with other men. He accused Sarah of infidelity and even monitored her communication and activities.
5. Demand for Attention and Admiration: Mark constantly demanded admiration and attention. He expected Sarah to always make him the center of attention and fulfill all his desires, without regard for her own needs.
6. Narcissistic Rage Outbursts: If Mark didn't feel like the center of attention or if his expectations weren't met, he could quickly fall into a narcissistic rage. These outbursts of rage were often irrational and exaggerated, leaving Sarah feeling anxious and helpless.

Especially regarding her intimate life, meaning things she didn't want to do, she had to comply.

She had no choice.

He isolated her from her friends and family, claiming they would harm their relationship.

To this day, she has a very distant relationship with her parents because of this.

The Fight for Freedom

Sarah began to feel increasingly insecure and worthless, but the thought of leaving Mark seemed impossible to her.

Things escalated when she tried to break free from him.

Mark threatened to ruin her life if she left him.

He even became physically aggressive and severely injured Sarah.

Thankfully, her general practitioner documented the incidents.

The Path to Healing

It took months – months full of fear, despair, and isolation – until Sarah found the courage to seek professional help.

In our counseling sessions, Sarah learned to recognize Mark's manipulative tactics and set her own boundaries.

Specifically, she learned the following:

1. Recognizing Gaslighting: Sarah learned that Mark often tried to confuse her and question her reality. She became aware that his constant criticisms and accusations did not stem from genuine concern, but rather served to manipulate her self-perception. This enabled her to recognize his gaslighting tactics and defend herself against them.
2. Setting Boundaries with Guilt: Through counseling, Sarah realized that she was not responsible for Mark's behavior. She learned to detach herself from the feelings of guilt he imposed on her and to recognize that his attempts at control and manipulation were not her fault.
3. Strengthening Self-Confidence: Sarah worked on restoring her self-confidence and self-esteem. She learned that she has the right to have her own needs and boundaries, and that it is important to communicate and defend them clearly.
4. Applying Communication Strategies: During the counseling sessions, Sarah practiced using constructive communication strategies to deal with Mark. She learned how to send clear and direct messages without falling into his manipulative traps.
5. Developing Coping Strategies: Sarah developed coping strategies with me for dealing with Mark's emotional outbursts and manipulations. She learned how to calm herself using progressive muscle relaxation and how to protect herself in difficult situations.

Through these insights and skills, Sarah could slowly but surely begin to free herself from Mark's influence and regain her autonomy.

She realized that she no longer had to be a victim of his control and that she had the strength to take control of her future.

Conclusion: The Dangers of a Narcissistic Relationship

It wasn't easy.

Sarah had to fight to recover from the emotional and physical scars of this relationship.

But she is a fighter, and I am incredibly proud of how far she has come.

Her story shows how dangerous a relationship with a narcissistic partner can be and how important it is to seek help in time, or even better: to pull the emergency brake immediately.

A narcissistic personality disorder is not curable, but it can be alleviated so that those affected no longer suffer from it.

However, for this, narcissists must specifically seek psychotherapeutic help; a psychological online consultation is no longer sufficient here.

Updated on: 11. Juli 2025

Magazine Narcissist

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