Talk more, be more patient, just pull yourselves together
Your relationship is not in crisis because you talk too little, but because you talk in the same patterns. More of what doesn't work won't help. You need new tools, not "more of the same".
A warm welcome!
My name is Patric Pförtner,
A short video greeting from your psychologist and couples therapist Patric Pförtner. Consider this a personal invitation to get to know me.
You argue again and again about the same things: money, parenting, sex, the household. But nothing changes. Every conversation feels the same.
You avoid difficult topics because they always escalate. Instead of talking, one of you leaves the room, picks up the phone, or turns on the TV.
An affair, a lie, a broken promise. Trust has been shaken. But you want to give your relationship a second chance?
You function perfectly as parents and daily life runs smoothly. But intimate closeness and the spark between you have been left behind.
Most couples describe exactly these kinds of situations to me.
Speaking about it is the first step towards change.
"I would give Patric a whole sky full of stars for his professional, human and authentic way of being. Chapeau! Our conversations went deep, full of opportunities to reflect, grow and develop. With all my heart I can recommend Patric as a 5-star psychologist who masterfully practises the art of psychological counselling — with great joy, a pinch of humour and plenty of lightness. Thank you, Patric!"
Doro G. Talk more, be more patient, just pull yourselves together
Your relationship is not in crisis because you talk too little, but because you talk in the same patterns. More of what doesn't work won't help. You need new tools, not "more of the same".
Talking it through with friends or family
Friends and family are biased — they have to be. They see your dynamic from a position that wants to protect or defend you. What you need is a trained, neutral outside view that can recognise the patterns you can no longer see yourselves.
Waiting for a holiday or the "perfect moment"
A weekend away eases things briefly. But the patterns that led you into the crisis travel with you. There is no perfect moment to start couples therapy. Change begins the moment you decide, today, to do something different.
Reading books, listening to podcasts, taking online tests
Knowledge about your relationship isn't the problem. Most couples understand their pattern intellectually very well. But knowledge alone changes nothing. Real change needs a clear plan, targeted exercises and guidance that keeps working between sessions.
Most couples have already tried at least one of these paths.
Real change begins with the first honest conversation.
About Me
M.Sc. Psychologist and doctoral researcher in cognitive psychology. I accompany couples who sense: this can't go on the way it is. But who don't want to give up.
"What inspires me are real transformations — toward genuine closeness, clear communication and mutual understanding. Without years of therapy marathons."
My path in brief
Beginnings
First clinical experience with psychotherapist Gunter König: work in the field of sexual-offender treatment and MPU preparation. Alongside that, couples counselling, systemic consultations and coaching.
Previously
Salaried psychologist for life counselling and supervised family contact. Counselling of high-conflict parents and group work with children and adolescents around separation and divorce. In parallel, school-psychological service at three schools in Heilbronn, Germany.
Today
I welcome clients from all over the world: from A like Amsterdam through D like Dubai to Z like Cyprus.
1 minute
Click the button, see my calendar directly and request your preferred time for the first consultation — without obligation. Within 12 hours I confirm by email, or suggest an alternative if it doesn't fit. The confirmation includes your Google Meet link.
approx. 20 minutes
We meet on Google Meet to get to know each other. Both of you get to speak. You share what is going on, I explain my approach and the practicalities, and you ask your questions. At the end, you decide calmly whether you want to continue.
3 × 60 minutes
So I can really understand both perspectives, we meet three times: each of you gets one individual session, then you come together as a couple. On that basis we agree on concrete goals and a plan that fits your relationship. Follow-up sessions are scheduled together.
Certified Quality
The Professional Association of German Psychologists has awarded me the "Counselling by Psychologists" quality mark — a promise of high-quality counselling.
In our first conversation you tell me where you stand right now and what you expect from your couples therapist. At the end, you decide whether the chemistry feels right.
Book your free first appointment
Marie B.
After Jan's confession I genuinely thought that was it. For days I couldn't look at him without everything boiling up inside me. With Patric we learned how to actually talk through the anger and the pain — instead of just reacting or slamming the door. He held space for the uncomfortable questions and, at the same time, showed us how to listen to each other again. Today we're not the old couple — we're a new one. Not easy every day, but finally honest with each other again.
Anna L.
I had found messages that wouldn't let me go for days. In the sessions with Patric we learned the difference between mistrust and being attentive. Stefan and I haven't become naive — we're a team again, one that talks to each other honestly.
Lena K.
Two small children, barely any sleep, more arguing than tenderness. That's how we ended up with Psychologist Pförtner. We felt we had completely lost sight of each other and were only functioning as parents. In just a few sessions we re-learned how to listen to one another instead of only trading demands. We found small rituals that carry us through hectic days, and we even laughed together again. We still argue — but now with respect, not out of exhaustion. Above all, we feel like a couple again, not just parents.
Sarah W.
Three years of long distance between Hamburg and Munich took more out of us than we wanted to admit. We called each other daily but kept talking past the real issues. Jealousy, doubts, the feeling of no longer being part of each other's lives. With Patric we learned not to measure closeness by presence, but by reliability and honest communication. Today we have steady rituals, expectations are spoken out loud, and our weekends together no longer feel like an exam — they feel like home.
Julia R.
We had both known for a while that it no longer carried us as a couple. But there was no way we wanted our two children caught in the crossfire, the way we had seen happen with friends. With Mr Pförtner we spoke the hard decision out loud, calmly, and found a way to part fairly and with respect. Today we talk about hand-overs, school and finances without tearing open old wounds. We're no longer a couple — but we are a reliable parenting team, and the children can clearly feel that both of us are there for them.
Katharina B.
In my conversations with Patric I quickly felt very comfortable. He meets you on eye level, is attentive, warm, there's also laughter, and of course he listens beautifully. Thank you for walking with me through my jungle of emotions — and for stopping and looking more closely where it was needed!
FAQ
Yes. Studies show comparable effectiveness — and for many couples it's even easier: you stay in your familiar environment and save on travel, babysitters and waiting rooms. What matters is the therapeutic relationship, not the room.
That is more common than you think. In the first sessions we clarify what each of you needs, so that nothing feels "prescribed". Sometimes one partner begins alone — that is also fine.
I hear this often. Most failed therapies fail because of one of four things: no clear goals, no exercises between sessions, no concreteness — or the missing bond with the therapist, without which difficult topics never even surface. My approach addresses all four.
Most couples notice the first changes after 5–7 sessions. A full course of work typically involves 10–15 sessions over 3–12 months. We decide together at each phase whether to continue.
Only as much as you want to. The focus is: what do you need now to feel capable, clear and connected as a couple again? The past comes up when it is relevant — never for its own sake.
We clarify that transparently in the free first consultation. You get a clear overview of duration, process and investment. No pressure, no hidden fees.
In Germany, health insurance generally does not cover couples therapy. We discuss the specific terms in the first consultation — transparent and without surprises.
No. I offer scientifically grounded psychological couples counselling — not medical treatment. If a diagnosis or insurance-covered treatment is required, I am happy to refer you on.
We meet via Google Meet — no installation needed, just open the link and start. Other platforms on request.
Usually within a few days — the first consultation often within this week. I reply to your enquiry typically within 12 hours.
With a free, no-obligation first consultation. We look together at where you stand, what you need — and whether we want to work together. Entirely without commitment.
In our first conversation you tell me where you stand right now and what you expect from your couples therapist. At the end, you decide whether the chemistry feels right.
Book your free first appointmentStraight from my practice
Here you'll find mini impulses from the practice.
